All my single babies, this one’s for you
I feel like being single in today’s society is probably one of the most challenging things I have faced this year. Being single today is nothing like being single even five years ago. Dating apps, parties, college events, lecture hall hotties… the list goes on. More than ever there are a hundred ways to meet someone, test something out and a hundred more ways why it would never work out. It’s like a huge game of navigation; Who is worth my time? Who is just looking for someone when they’re lonely? Is this a “just for fun thing?”
There are three main things I’ve learned while being single:
Being alone is O K!!
A lot of times being single puts this sudden urge to start looking for someone. It leads to settling for someone you're comfortable with. Or bouncing from one fling to the next to keep from being lonely. But GIRL, until you are uncomfortable and until you are lonely you leave no room to grow. The most individual growth I ever endured was when I felt the most alone. The second you start filling gaps in your life with temporary people is the second you settle for temporary happiness. This only leads to hurt, disappointment, and emotional exhaustion. Sometimes, sitting in your loneliness is the time you learn about yourself the most. So, be alone, pick up a hobby, or instead of going out with some rando who asked for your number through an insta DM stay in with your best girlfriend, take the season God has blessed you with to spoil yourself with all your emotional time. You’re single because you haven’t met the perfect person meant for you. It doesn’t mean they aren’t out there; it just isn’t the time to meet them yet. So, put on your best TV show and chill baby, chill.
When you are ready to start dating again, be picky. You cannot be devoting your time to just anyone who comes in your path. When your fresh on that market, it’s so easy to say yes to every opportunity that sneaks its way in. You got to figure out what you like, what matches up with your lifestyle, your beliefs, what’s important to you in someone, and most importantly; You need to decide if your dating to have fun or dating to develop a relationship. The most important thing to remember is that your time, your presence, and your cute outfit shouldn’t be wasted on someone you already know isn’t meant for you. Let’s all face it, the frat boy you met randomly at a party, the big-league athlete, or the boy who you just aren’t that excited for, probably aren’t going to become your forever person. There is NO harm is still going out with them, just save yourself the expectations. Don’t romanticize a relationship because you’re bored. More times than not, you already know the intentions they have behind taking you out. Don’t mistake loneliness for excitement. Boss up baby, your time is SO precious!!! Quit giving it to just anyone. The time you’re devoting to other people is less time you’re devoting to yourself!
The day you stop looking, is the day they will show up. This year I found myself forcing things literally not meant for me. I searched every room for the hottie I could mingle with instead of hanging with my girls. I quite literally would walk a specific way to my 9 am to run into someone every day, in hopes he would talk to me. (He did, he turned out weird don’t worry ;)) I did all this searching until I exhausted myself. I realized that the reason it was never working with anyone else, is because I was just meant to be with me right now. I am a firm believer that God will place who is for you when you least expect it. So, go have fun girl, go on those dates, but stop looking so hard for something that can only be God-Given.
My single babies always remember YOU have to be the main character of your story. Devote your time to YOU. Guard your pretty little heart because it isn’t meant for everyone. Not every guy deserves the deepest parts of you. And mostly, boss up babe. Own this single girl season of your life. Single is the new hot.
Blog post was written by Loveleigh babe, Cait Chenoweth. <3